Wednesday, December 5, 2012
That is until today.
In a severe lack of morality (yes, coming from the Post that’s saying a lot), splashed across their front page was an image of an innocent man moments before he was about to meet his death .
Han Ki Suk, 58, became involved in argument with a homeless man at Q train station yesterday. The mad man pushed him into the path of an oncoming train, which eventually struck and killed him.
There’s plenty of questions that can set back human decency for generations including: Why is no one helping him? and Why is someone taking a picture of this? But, for the New York Post to obtain this picture for literal blood money purposes and place it on their front page is abominable.
Not only is this man experiencing the unthinkable last moments of his life, not only are those moments being experienced with a cell-phone camera in his face, but the paper now has made the world morbidly experience his final struggle.
But, their agenda today was a dark as anyone could possibly comprehend. Because this time it wasn’t a political snafu or illuminating T&A, it was an average Joe about to die. Now he’ll be remembered as that poor bastard on the cover of the Post that was hit by that train.
I wonder if the editor and the minions that pushed this unfit death certificate on the public would want their demise memorialized in the same way?
Note- I wrestled with the idea of not publishing the photo, as it would appear hypocritical. However for purposes of the story I felt it was essential. So save the snarky comments
Sunday, November 18, 2012
Last week Jeffery Loria pressed the reset button on his team. He’s done it before and who’s to say he won’t do it again. The troika of Marlin club dismantlement has been painfully embarrassing, but a way too commonplace action in South Florida.
But, this time it was worse. After pilfering funds from a public who didn’t want the new Marlins Park in the first place, he blew up the on-field talent that was supposed to make the money back. He suckered Floridians that this bad idea was actually a savvy business move that would be better for the community.
Years ago in a place far away, a man by the name of Lyle Lanley tried a similar business tactic. After Mr. Burns was fined $3 million for illegally disposing of nuclear waste, the town came into some cash and in stereotypical Springfieldian fashion, they had to spend it immediately. But, instead of forcing city officials to build a baseball park, Langley coaxed a dense and easily manipulated Springfield community to build a monorail, by the means of catchy song and dance the town is known to fall prey too.
Neither Springfield nor Miami needed new toys to show off their city, but eventually they both took shape and it took little time for the public to be sorely disappointed.
In Miami, Loria never provided a whimsical song for the population, but it probably wouldn’t have worked anyway. In fact, arguably the biggest issue in Miami’s 2009 election for Mayor was the building of a new Marlins stadium. City Commissioner Tomas Relgado, an opponent of the project, took home 72% of the votes and won the position.
As Bart would say, “Sorry mom, the mob has spoken”.
But, unlike his team Loria knew how to play ball. He slithery negotiated his way through city offices and miraculously came out with a disgusting victory. The public would fund almost 80% of the $634 million monstrosity that everyone vehemently detested.
Conversely in Springfield, the townspeople wanted their project. Even though the town was much too small for a monorail, Lanley’s “proven” success in other towns had left them smitten. Suddenly, the whole town was eating out of the palm of Lanley’s hand. Like Loria he had promised an improvement to the quality of life that would never come to fruition.
Shockingly, both endeavors flopped on their maiden voyages. Loria’s high priced team and abdominal park was an eyesore. No one came to the games making his utopian vision of baseball in South Florida a pathetic oasis. And as fate would have it, Lanley’s monorail failed and malfunctioned on it’s first ride nearly killing everyone on board. Not even Homer’s favorite possum “Bitey” could save the failure of the investment.
Lanley was able to split town before Springfield spontaneously transformed into a riotous cadre, which is another of their traits. However, he paid the price when his outgoing flight touched down in a city that was a previous monrail customer. No one knows for sure, but it’s safe bet he met his maker.
As for Loria, well he’s still there in Miami and still collecting the townspeople’s money. Still there is Marlins Park, a shining example of unnecessary metal that burdens a whole city. The players that might have made the money back to the city of Miami were unloaded across the boarder to Toronto. All that remains is a mad man and his Frankenstein.
I feel bad for the residents of Miami. They didn’t ask for a stadium that would make their bank account smaller, but they got one anyway. Now everyday they have to drive past it with the same inner feelings of anger and regret like they were some stooges from North Haverbrook or Ogdenville.
Marlins and Monorails: Who needs them?
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
So, at this point it appears Andrew Bynum won’t make his debut with the 76ers until at least January, but his unstoppable hair has made it’s debut. The ovation from most has been shades of speechless horror.
Honestly, I’m not really sure what end all be all here is. Is this a mid-range style or there is a goal for this grown out mop? At this point he embodies the bucket of hair you would place on a Lego character or even a British drummer in an up and coming band in the 1960’s.
But, if I was Ringo Starr I’d sleep easy tonight. I have a feeling this hair could truly take on a life of its own. Maybe even bigger than Jesus. Well, been there, done that I guess.
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
All in all the last thing I want to do is make this an exclusive outlet for spouting my disgust for Dwayne Wade, but he makes it so damn easy.
Yes, I’ve been lazy lately. But, what better way to hop back in the saddle with another example of how hating Wade is as easy as breathing.
On the team bus, Wade’s biggest fanboy, LeBron James snapped a photo of Wade taking his chic “style” to new level. For years, Wade has thought he was a better basketball player, teammate, and overall human being than anyone one in the free world. Now he has pushed his fashion sense to the brink of masculinty by rocking skinny jeans that the emperor of hipsters wouldn’t dare don.
I could just imagine if Wade was rocking these threads as the Jam character in Detroit Rock City. (Fast Forward to 9:35)
Monday, October 22, 2012
While the newest member of the Heat, Ray Allen, was entangled in war of words with former teammate Kevin Garnett, Wade interjected to save the day. "(Garnett) doesn't need to be talking to our team anyway", bellowed Wade. "So it's all good. (Allen) doesn't look too bad in a Heat uniform."
In extreme pomposity that only Dwayne Wade can ooze, the 8-time All-Star has now declared no one can talk about the Heat in a manner he doesn't agree with. He's taken over the role of patriarch of this Heat team, fresh off their NBA championship over the Thunder.
And he's letting everyone know about it.
When a rumor started picking up steam that his teammate LeBron James was headed to Los Angeles, Wade was front and center to slap the rumor like with voracity of a a tweener quarrel. “They need to leave my teammate alone with that, and go mess with somebody else", said Wade. “He’s gonna be here. We’re straight.”
But in reality, James is only the follower and Wade is clearly the ringleader. His posturing over the most minor of plays, his flopping to the ground like a wounded seal, and his tears of unfair treatment are just some of the reasons why many loathe the Heat.
But, maybe he's traded his patriarch hat and put on his grandma sweater, as it appears no one can talk about his "boys" anymore. While he might not come off as ugly as Terrell Owens defending his "teammate", it stinks just the same. In Wade's mind, this squad has the unbreakable bond of the 1979 Pittsburgh Pirates. After his first highlight of the year, it wouldn't surprise me if he were to leap to the top of the scorers table and lead the Heat fans in a rousing rendition of "We Are Family".
So, as the Heat begin pursuit of their other seven other predicted titles, keep this is mind: Watch what you say about the Miami Heat.
Dwayne Wade is listening.
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Damn you 2005 NCAA March Madness.
But, during this year's TBS telecast of the ALDS and ALCS there are commercials that have made a profound impression on me and not for the sake of me buying their product. No, its not the annual Turner reminder to slave for avocados or watching Kerry Wood burrow for Andre Dawson through the Wrigley Ivy. It's the newest ad by the Samsung Galaxy phone that attempts to make the sheep waiting in line from the newest IPhone "out of touch".
I must admit the first ad creating a geriatric "monkey-see monkey-do" aura surrounding Apple was quite creative. "Is this the line I stand in for Apps?"-That's all sorts of perfect.
My main gripe with these commercials is the image that Samsung of their users that they're pushing down our throats. All three of the people "enjoying" the Galaxy are the exact prototype that most of us designate with the Apple cult members-pompous, pretentious, self-absorbed hipsters.
The guy saving a spot in line is your classic poser. Sporting an old man Kangol like flat hat and cliche Buddy Holly glasses. Dude looks straight out of Williamsburg, Brooklyn- home to hipster nation.
In the second commercial, the two exchanging play lists are the worst. Yes, i understand how advertising works, but do they really need to partake in this exaggerated swap right in front of the IPhone line? They explain the actions of their magical phone to the crowd as if it was simplistic as breathing. One of the Samsung owners then says, "I'll see ya back at the studio" with a patronizing chuckle to the crowd. Judging from his appearance, I'm sure he'll go back smoke some cloves and go on to record a shitty alternative mix of Jack Johnson and Nickelback.
Normally, i cant see any healthy person writing this much about a stupid commercial. But, after feeling like an inmate at Guantanamo Bay and being forced to watch this in between Curtis Granderson four pitch strikeouts, I had to vent. It's official. I now hate Samsung hipsters just as much as IPhone hipsters, if not more.
TBS, I can't do this anymore. I'm out of here. I'm going to get some guacamole.
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Amid the Jet's roller coaster season, both quarterback A and B can relax and have a nice chat after a long day of work. After a long day of parting seas, Tim Tebow decided to waltz on over in his itsy bitsy yellow towel to chat with the other QB on the team.
Sanchez robed within himself raises his knee Captain Morgan style and engaged the young Christian in some serious back and forth chatter.
Well's that my interpretation. Think up your own.
-The Big Lead